DIRGE "BONE" JONES

October 30th, 1895 - August 25th, 1932Dear detective,
born under moon of blue,
who killed you?

A valiant detective whose lack of skin and muscle is made up by his cunning wit, sense, skill, and gunslinging, Dirge Jones is often revered as one of the greatest paranormal investigators and private detectives of all time, with over a century in business.

FAST FACTS

BACKSTORY

Born into a gilded-era New York, Dirge Bartholomew Jones worked a job at the ripe age of twelve. One in his father's butcher shop, and later into his teenhood, a much wealthier and dangerous job running alcohol for local mobs. Dirge quickly learned how to survive in the depths of New York's impoverished slums, and later in his life, took a vigilant job as a bounty hunter on crime syndicates, later using the skill-gotten gains to establish a moderately successful private investigations business, his services often trumping the local law enforcement in terms of the local's favors.During a time of high-tensions among foreign countries, Dirge's skill and awareness hadn't gone unrecognized as he was drafted as a highly-proficient stealth and espionage soldier in what would later be known in history as World War I. With no choice but to join, Dirge reluctantly served his country, pulling off successful operations with his skill and perception only refined much harder from military training. More often than not, his very presence shook both allies and enemies to their core, wartime forging a resentful, much more hardened man than he was before being enlisted. Dirge was discharged after punching and successfully crippling his commanding officer after being ordered to place explosives in a population-dense area. Dirge was soon flown home and resumed his business.One day, Dirge gets a missing persons' case that changes his life, a mass dissappearance. After tailing down what the law enforcement knows, several lengthy talks with the victims' witnesses, friends, family acquaintances, Dirge narrowed down a possible feature his target was after.They all had odd behaviorisms, and their disappearances coincided with the sudden cease of "monster sightings" around the surrounding area.He narrowed down who the next target would be, and managed to find his first interrogatee, a member of a cult known as "PROMETHEUS". After a lengthy (and bloody) interrogation, Dirge finally had their headquarters, and headed off to shit on their next ceremony. There he found the missing persons' being offed one by one in a sacrificial manner, strung up to the walls of an altar as a mad priest was conjuring something from one world to ours. Dirge quickly pulled guns to interrupt the ceremony but as his guns fired towards the prophet, something from a realm beyond ours was quick to fire first, and end Dirge's life right then and there.Dirge was dead.Or... so it would seem. Seems like he had a pretty nice burial in New York City's most overcrowded cemetery. At least the site was found, what happened after he died was completely unknown. He picked himself up and marched back to a midnight Manhattan, his clothes tattered, and it became clear he needed new duds. The local Newspaper read "NOVEMBER 8TH, 2008; OBAMA WINS!!!", and he found the latest clothing store open, picked out a suit and trench coat, and the owner very generously and not out of complete fear the a mud-stained skeleton just wandered into his store, gave it to him for free as long as he spares his bloodline, which Dirge wasn't planning to curse anyways. This string of events of course leads to the police being called and Dirge being forced to retreat into the sewers.The sewers were a stinky, lowly place to be, walking past the rushing subway trains and into a safe cove... occupied by a talking, man-eating plant holding a child "for lunch". Some geek must've thrown away their pet plant and the shit and piss of the sewer mutated it, where it developed the ability to talk, ingest children, and possibly score some roles in musicals. Dirge was quick to think, picked up a sharpened lead pipe, and chuck it into it's bulb-like jaw, impaling it shut and quickly slaying it. Dirge solved his first missing persons case in well over 80 years bravely confronting the local fuzz manhunting him until he bought the child out with him.The city quickly recognized him as a citizen again, granting him enough money to rent out his own office and apartment, founding a new investigative business now that he's peered into the dark world of the unknown...THE THIRD EYE.Since then, Dirge "Bone" Jones has faced down ghosts, werewolves, Dracula, cryptids, aliens, divine beings, demons, mad circus cults, and much, much more. The business was also quick to grow out of a solo job, recruiting the mad monster Frank Nefarious Einstein.

APPEARANCE & PERSONALITY

Dirge is a 6'2" milk-white skeleton that sometimes has yellow pupils illuminating his sockets. He's almost always seen dressed in his detective attire, a black-leather trenchcoat with a red-tied suit underlying it. To top it all off, he wears gold-colored aviators almost all the time, leading some to believe that he's got some visual sensitivity to light, and a black fedora with a red-and-white striped band. He's almost always seen smoking a cigarette through a cigarette holder where appropriate. Addictive ticks stick even if you're dead.Dirge carries a dry, cynical, yet soft-spoken personality that can quickly aggravate to a peculiar hard-boiledness when need be. His current time as a detective and former time as a government spy makes him incredibly perceptive and quick to pick up on any situation going on. He hates skeleton puns and will quickly scold you for attempting to be funny, funny guy. He's still a little bit sad for being torn from his previous life, and clings on to what precious memories he has of a family he was trying to build, that was so early in development and vague that it was failed to be picked up upon in the backstory section.Some say that the events leading to his afterlife may've drove him off the deep end... just a little bit.

EQUIPMENT AND ABILITIES

For his own self-defense, Dirge carries two Smith and Wesson .500 Revolvers loaded with different shells for different monsters, and a very very large butcher knife for very very large party-sized cheeses. Just kidding! It's to stab stuff with. He's very commonly seen using the twin revolvers (to an extremely precise and professional degree) and isn't afraid to use other weapons, but if need be his own two fists, Dirge is an experienced brawler and knows a couple of mixed martial arts, with the innate ability to physically assault ghosts! Cool.Along with the aforementioned ability to punch ghosts (which seems to be a byproduct of his questionable state of mortality), Dirge can detach his own body parts and operate them remotely. If a bone breaks, it seems to quickly heal, and if his skull is shattered, he dies! For like, a few hours before it reforms. Dirge isn't quite sure if he's living in hell or not due to this, but it's proven useful in making his foes over confident.A trophy from one of his cases, the Death Knell Pocket Watch is a pocket watch that determines the exact date and time someone has died, or the exact date and time someone is going to die. Dirge, as a detective, is naturally perceptive, smart, quick witted, and even deceptive a little bit. In a lot of cases, he's always one step ahead.

(Art sourced from various comics, novella, and stock art. I didn't draw any of this. FC: Skullduggery Pleasant and Skull Cowboy from The Crow. Any possible fanart used in a thread will be rightfully credited, and removed at the artist's request. )